I Can't
by VolleyballBabe9
Summary: The departure of the Kings and Queens of Old brings King Caspian's wants, needs, and desires to the forefront. PC movieverse.


Yeah, I know, everyone has written one of these, where Caspian begs Susan to stay at the end. I just couldn't help myself though, I had to write one too. Please read and review, yeah, I do know that the ending sucks, but I couldn't figure out where to take this without making it too short or turning it into a chapter fic. Sorry if you don't like it.

Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue. Me no own so you no sue. (hehe, I don't even own the disclaimer, my friend made that up like a long time ago.)

* * *

"We'll go."

Susan's eyes looked down at the ground, as Peter made the announcement that they would be going through the door in the air, away from Caspian's just as she heard him turn and face her. She knew that if she looked at him she wouldn't be able to leave. Her heart was too much in love with Narnia, too caring for her people to leave them once again, only to not know when, or if, she would come back.

"No!" Caspian's voice sounded desperate, heartbroken. Susan still refused to look at him, instead looking over at her younger sister Lucy, who had cried out at the same time as Caspian. Lucy looked as devastated as Caspian sounded, her eyes flashing from Susan to Peter and back again, begging them to change their minds. "Susan."

Susan lifted her eyes only to find that Caspian had stepped closer to her, looking at her expectantly, waiting for her response. Susan vaguely heard Aslan talking in the background, but she couldn't focus on or comprehend what he was saying. She had given in and now her eyes were locked with Caspian's. Peter and Susan had spent hours talking with Aslan, trying to avoid the path they had to take, but there was no other choice. Susan was desperate to stay in Narnia, where she was different, more outgoing in a sense, but Aslan had told them that this was how it was supposed to be.

"Susan."

He was standing in front of her now, looking at her expectantly still, but she didn't know what to say. She looked to her right, where Peter had been standing, but he was gone, had moved away to give her and Caspian some room, pulling Edmund and a still visibly upset Lucy back with him. Susan looked back at Caspian, opening her mouth to explain everything to him.

"Susan has discussed this matter with Peter and myself. She and Peter have learned all that they can from Narnia. They must return to their own land." Aslan had stepped up into the space between Caspian and Susan. "They will always be remembered in Narnia and they will always remember Narnia. It is their destiny, there is nothing we can do to change that."

"Susan please."

"I can't."

"Yes you can. You can say no. You can stay in Narnia, you can stay with me. Just please, don't go."

"I can't. I can't abandon Lucy or Peter or Edmund. They're half of who I am, without them I would feel lost," Susan answered back, tears beginning to pool in her eyes. But she was a Queen of Narnia, she wouldn't let them fall, wouldn't let her people see that she was in pain over leaving them. She wouldn't allow the Narnians to think that she didn't trust Aslan, but it was hard for her to trust herself at this point.

"And what about me? I am not me without you by my side. We could rule Narnia together, you could stay. What about the half of me that will not be whole without you as my queen?"

"Oh Caspian," Susan sighed out, her heart breaking as he said those words, _my queen. _"There will be hundreds, possibly even thousands, of other beautiful women who will wish to be your queen, and I am certain that the one for you is out there. I am also certain that it is not me."

"That is a lie and you know it. You love me, I know you do, why are you trying to deny it? Why are you doing this?" Caspian's voice was becoming hysterical and Susan wasn't sure if she could take much more of this. He took a step closer to Susan and she involuntarily took a step back, knowing that if she stood nearer to him she wouldn't be able to leave. "What about your people, the Narnians?"

"Don't refer to them as my people, they are yours as well. You must stop referring to them as Telmarines and Narnians. They all need to understand that they live in the shared land of Narnia, they are all Aslan's children, all Narnians. Stop talking as if they are separate," Susan's diplomatic voice rose over the noise invading her head and she snapped at Caspian's slip of the tongue. "Please Caspian, you must understand. If I were to stay, the Narnians would come to me for anything they needed, avoiding your rule, while the Telmarines would do the same with you. They need one ruler that all must go to, you have to understand. Please…"

Susan stepped forward toward Caspian and slowly raised her hand to his cheek. She stroked his cheek, before laying her palm flat, letting him nuzzle her hand, relishing in her touch. He could feel it shaking slightly, but ignored the movement, taking in what little comfort this last moment was. It was then he realized that she was right, that he couldn't depend on her help, or her siblings' help, that he had to be a king to these divided people. He stepped away from Susan, slowly opening his eyes to see her hand falling back to her side.

"Don't you see, it has to be this way? I'm sorry, my love, I'm so sorry."

And with that Susan turned away from Caspian and walked over to her siblings, standing in between Peter and Lucy. Lucy looked up at Susan with a questioning glance, but Susan ignored her. Susan's hand immediately grasped for Peter's, as the tears began to fall over her cheeks. Peter took Susan's hand, holding it tightly, before leading his siblings over to the channel between the twisted trees.

And before Caspian could even blink, the Kings and Queens of Old, including his queen now and forever, were gone. There wasn't a single thing he could say of do that could change that.

* * *

It was hours later, after the portal had closed, after the courtyard had been emptied of its burden of a crowd, after the Kings and Queens had left, that Caspian returned to the trees, staring at them for a long time before approaching and placing his hand gently against the rough bark. He gazed inquiringly at the twisted trunks for a long time, deciding that he would always come back to this place, would always remember his friends, his family, and his queen. It was here that Doctor Cornelius found him, staring at his hands on the trunks.

"They are gone, my King. You must try and move on."

"What if I don't want to?"

There it is. The question he has been asking himself since Susan had walked away from him earlier. What if he didn't want to be King, to unite a divided land, to move on from her and marry someone else?

"You must try; they would not want you to live your life like this, especially…" Doctor Cornelius left the thought open-ended and Caspian couldn't help himself.

"If she wouldn't want me to live my life like this, she wouldn't have left. You of all people should know that."

"Yes my King, but think about what she must be going through." And with that Doctor Cornelius walked off, living the new King with his thoughts about her. And he realized one thing about thinking about the pain not only he was feeling, but that Susan must have been feeling as well, at that exact moment wherever she was.

I can't.


End file.
